Couples Therapy 101: Wake Forest Couples: What to expect during your first couples therapy session
Wondering what happens in couples therapy? Learn what to expect in your first Wake Forest marriage counseling session.
People often ask me about my counseling practice. My long-term friends and new acquaintances usually want to know what marriage counseling sessions in Wake Forest are like.
Last Wednesday, I had the privilege to attend a monthly meeting called "Functional Forum Cary" organized by a wonderful primary care physician, Dr. Kiran Grewal. The purpose of this meeting was to bring together different health care practitioners, including physicians, psychotherapists, health coaches, acupuncturists, pharmacists, etc., to discuss the development and application of functional medicine. And if you haven't heard about functional medicine before, it is an approach that focuses on treating the underlying causes of the disease instead of simply looking at the symptoms. It's an amazing approach that has helped me personally with an array of severe gastrointestinal issues several years ago.
After circling the room and talking to different practitioners about their practices and experiences, I met a new aspiring health coach. After discussing functional medicine and the healthcare field, in general, she asked me what couples counseling or therapy is.
"What do you do, exactly, and why do people need to see you?"
I understand where the curiosity comes from. This is actually a really important question, especially if you're considering marriage counseling in Wake Forest. So let me walk you through details.
Marriage Counselor Sheds Light on What Exactly Happens in Marriage Counseling Wake Forest Sessions
Most people have some general knowledge of couples counseling. If you've never been to individual or marriage counseling, you may not know what exactly happens during the sessions. For many people, counseling is a mystery. How would you know?
In this article, I will outline what to expect during your first couples counseling session, so you feel prepared for it. I made a video on this topic some time ago, so if you prefer to watch a video rather than read a blog post, see below.
What to Expect in the Initial Marriage Counseling Wake Forest Session
Our intake or assessment sessions will include individual meetings to cover basics such as paperwork and confidentiality agreements, discuss the starting points of our work together, and establish rapport. You will also be asked to sign the "no secrets policy," which ensures safety, honesty, and productivity by requiring transparency.
The first session focuses on getting to know the couple and their history, their issues, and their goals. I understand that discussing sensitive topics may feel uncomfortable. However, it helps the therapist understand and support the couple more effectively.
Expect a Lot of Questions
The first marriage counseling Wake Forest session helps the couple and the therapist to get to know each other. I usually let my clients know that the initial session may feel like a "popcorn" session. Similar to when you pull open a bag of popcorn and kernels shoot out in every direction, our conversation can pop from one topic to another, as we explore a variety of issues.
For example, in one of my recent sessions, a female partner began by sharing how overwhelmed she feels with chores, kids, and all the work she usually does around the house, which quickly turned into expressing how unappreciated she felt in the relationship. Before long, the other partner brought up concerns about intimacy.
At some point, you might feel like we are all over the place, but that is completely expected. The purpose is not to solve everything in one sitting, but to lay all the pieces on the table so we can start making sense of them together.
You can expect some of the following questions during our first session:
"What was it like growing up in your family?"
" How was conflict handled in your family?"
"What drew you to each other when you met?"
"If I were a fly on the wall during your most recent argument, what would I see?"
"What are you doing that is actually WORKING?"
"Do you feel safe with your partner?"
"Do you have any concerns about anger expression for yourself or for your partner?"
"What would you like to achieve through therapy?"
In our first session, you'll likely find yourself talking about your childhood, family dynamics, coping skills, and attachment style. Many couples share feedback that this feels both relieving and surprising—it's often the first time they've really had space to share their story. Because so much has been held in, the first session usually flies by.
I encourage questions at any time and maintain an open, transparent approach. My role is not to judge, but to ensure you feel truly seen and understood. At times, I may offer a gentle "refocus" to make sure our work stays relevant and practical. Couples often share how much they appreciate that I have a clear process—one that prevents sessions from turning into an unhelpful rehash of "airing dirty laundry" or escalating into conflict. Instead, we focus on creating new understanding, breaking out of stuck patterns, and building a deeper connection.
You might also find helpful: Heal Your Marriage: A Marriage Counselor's Guide to Effective Communication and Harmony
Expect to Talk a Lot: In Wake Forest Marriage Counseling Intake Sessions, Clients Probably Talk More Than the Therapist
During the first few couples therapy sessions, I like to establish a framework from the beginning. I'll often say something like:
"In this first session, I take a more passive role because I want to give you space to tell your story in your own way. You've probably been carrying a lot for a long time, and this is your chance to put it into words. I might ask clarifying questions, but most of the time I just listen. I rarely interrupt, because this time is about you being heard."
One husband once said, "I didn't realize how heavy it felt until I finally got to say it out loud in front of someone who's not taking sides." His wife added that it was the first time she had been able to share her version of events without interruption.
I will also ask about your past therapy experiences. This will help me understand what worked for you and what didn't. By doing this, we can focus on the methods that are effective for you in therapy and avoid the ones that you feel are not helpful.
Some couples come in worried that a therapist will judge them or tell them that they are doing everything wrong. Once they see that my role is to listen and guide, not criticize, they often relax into the process. Many couples express a sense of relief when they know what to expect during our sessions. They don't feel the pressure to "perform" or get everything perfect. They simply get to share their experience, while I begin to understand the dynamics that led them to seek help.
The treatment plan and the dynamic will depend on your unique relationship situation. As a therapist, I'm a neutral party who advocates for the relationship. I create a safe space for partners to address their problems and feel seen and heard. But I don't take sides.
The Nature of a Client-Therapist Relationship
A therapeutic relationship (we also call it a therapeutic alliance) is a close connection between a therapist and a client that's really important for effective counseling. It's different from a regular professional relationship, like with a manager or colleague, because it dives into deeply personal stuff. At the same time, it's not a friendship since clients are paying for these services, and there are rules we need to follow. The most important thing that needs to happen in initial sessions is building rapport—the trusting, respectful relationship between a therapist and client, which is necessary for open and honest communication and therapeutic progress.
How Later Sessions Feel Different
As we move past those first few sessions, usually around sessions three to six, things start to shift. By then, we've built some trust and rapport, and I can take a more active role. This is where I lean in with you. I get right there in the emotion with both partners, feeling it through my own nervous system, and helping you slow down enough to really recognize what's happening underneath the surface.
At this stage, I am more assertive. I gently but firmly call out unhelpful behaviors, patterns, or protective moves that keep you stuck in disconnection. I don't just let you spiral into the same old arguments—I help redirect the energy toward healing moments, softer emotions, and connection. Also, please be prepared for me to assign homework and hold you accountable for completing it. This is important because real change happens between sessions. In real life, you get to practice new skills, try out different ways of communicating, and reflect on issues that come up. All of this helps move your relationship forward.
Let's say you constantly argue about how you divide household responsibilities. In session, we explore the patterns and discuss what can be changed so you both feel seen, understood, and appreciated. However, you'll probably start to feel real only when you start practicing a new "division of tasks" exercise at home. For example, you may write down who handles what, and check in with each other regularly. The homework is what makes the shift tangible.
You might also find helpful: What to Expect During the Second Stage of Marriage Counseling?
Why This Matters
The balance of these two phases—listening deeply at the start, then stepping in more actively as trust builds—creates both safety and momentum. First, you feel understood. You feel guided and validated. That combination is what makes therapy effective, because you're not just venting your "dirty laundry"; you're actively learning how to break negative cycles and build a stronger, more secure bond.
However, it's essential to understand that the therapist is not someone who will come up with a quick fix for your problems. A therapist's job is not to solve their clients' issues but to support them in understanding their problems and help them grow. The therapist also fosters a trusting environment and establishes clear boundaries within the therapeutic relationship.
As your therapist, I will help you manage your feelings, cope with stress, modify your behavior, and establish clear goals. I won't give you easy answers to your problems. Instead, I will guide you to work through your issues.
Marriage Counseling Wake Forest vs. Individual Counseling: What's the Difference?
Both individual and couples therapy provide a safe space to address clients' emotional distress, work through past hurts and traumas, tackle negative beliefs, attachment issues, communication problems, and so on. What makes couples counseling different from individual psychotherapy is the dynamic during the session. Whether it is online or in-office Wake Forest marriage counseling, sessions involve interaction between three people; therefore, the interpersonal and communication dynamics are different.
Unlike individual therapy, where the person is the client, in couples therapy, the relationship is the client. Marriage counseling Wake Forest usually includes both partners. Marriage counseling Wake Forest helps couples understand the root causes of their disagreements and learn to improve communication, identify and change unhealthy patterns, and foster a deeper connection.
However, sometimes one partner may choose to work with the therapist alone. This usually happens when they need to resolve some personal past traumas, such as insecure attachment, and reduce their impact on a relationship.
Some people decide to seek couples therapy for one when their partner doesn't want to go to therapy.
You might also find helpful: Marriage Counseling Raleigh and Solo Counseling Raleigh NC
Expect to Give Feedback
I will probably ask you something like this at the end of the marriage counseling Wake Forest NC session:
" How was the session for you today?"
Your feedback at the end of each marriage counseling session in Wake Forest offers a chance to express any discomfort or concerns you may have regarding your relationship with the therapist. Remember, it's important to be honest, as good therapists will not take your truth personally.
Quality Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC, and Online Therapy North Carolina.
At Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC, I offer the best marriage counseling I can using the most empirically validated modality called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, when appropriate to really expedite the results.
This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Wake Forest NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, individual counseling, and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.
Hi, I'm Irina Baechle, LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage or you are single , navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you. Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception!
Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, roommate marriages, sexless marriage, ketamine assisted psychotherapy, healthy second marriages, and healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.
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