Brainspotting in North Carolina
If trauma can be passed through the generations, so the healing. You can start this process, for you and your children, today.
Brainspotting for Couples in Wake Forest and Raleigh, North Carolina
You and your partner have built something real together—careers you're proud of, kids you adore, a life that looks good on paper. But your brain and body keep screaming the same desperate questions:
"Are you even there for me?"
"Can I count on you?"
"Do I fucking matter to you?"
You're not screaming at each other. There's no affair. You still share a bed, coordinate school pickup, tag-team the chaos. But when was the last time you actually talked? Not about the upcoming business trip logistics or food prepping for the week—but really talked? Really connected?
It All Comes Out Wrong
Because these questions have been burning inside for so long, what comes out is all wrong—blame, criticism, or loud, painful silence. Your partner feels like they've failed (again), so they either attack back or shut down completely. Then you both feel miserable and hopeless, stuck in this vicious cycle you know by heart. You are lost without knowing how to protect your peace without conflict or shutting down.
The Workload Is Completely Lopsided
One of you is drowning—tracking everyone's schedules, remembering birthdays, booking appointments, carrying the mental load of everything. The other feels like they're constantly failing some invisible test they didn't know they were taking.
You're exhausted from always being "on." They're defensive because nothing they do seems good enough.
The resentment builds in silence. You've stopped asking for help because it's easier to just do it yourself. They've stopped offering because they're tired of being criticized.
And Then There's Everything Else
Your kid has ADHD. Your partner's dealing with chronic health issues. Your dad has a second bout of cancer and your mom has no filter, or even enough self awareness about how her comments impact your marriage. You're managing anxiety that's gotten worse. The stress compounds. Patience evaporates. Intimacy feels like another chore nobody has energy for.
You Love Each Other—But You're Exhausted
You really do still love them. But you're so damn tired of feeling alone in this. You coexist on the treadmill of life, taking care of everything and everyone, but feeling trapped, unseen, utterly exhausted. You're stuck. Not in crisis, but in this slow, suffocating drift toward roommate territory. And it terrifies you. Because at least in a fight, there's passion. There's something. This just feels like slowly becoming strangers who share a mortgage.
Weekly Talk Therapy Isn't Enough Anymore
You can't imagine another day or week, like this. You need something bigger, faster, different than just talk therapy, more intensive before "fine" becomes "too late." You deserve a relationship that feels alive again.
Hi, I'm Irina—And I Can Help You Feel Connected Again
Imagine a marriage where you feel fully seen, understood, and deeply connected. Where old patterns no longer hold you back, and your relationship feels alive and vibrant again.
I help couples like you break through the barriers created by past experiences so you can build a new story together. By gently unpacking old childhood wounds and processing them fully, you can connect with your partner in a way that is authentic, loving, and deeply satisfying.
And the fastest way to make this shift? A private, custom marriage retreat designed just for you and your partner.
You can cut through months of therapy in just a day or two so you can start feeling more connected immediately.
Irina Baechle, LCSW, Marriage Retreat Facilitator and Marriage Therapist
What Does a Brainspotting Retreat In North Carolina Look Like?
New couples begin with a 2-day intensive, with each day lasting about 6 hours. This immersive experience allows you to leave the kids, work, and phones behind and focus fully on your relationship. For many couples, this concentrated time together creates breakthroughs that months of weekly sessions often cannot.
After the initial intensive, couples typically continue with monthly follow-up sessions for about 12 months, depending on what’s happening in your relationship. These sessions reinforce the work from the retreat, help you integrate new ways of connecting, and provide ongoing support as you navigate life’s ups and downs together.
During your retreat, you and your partner will:
Focus entirely on your relationship in a safe, private space
Explore emotional patterns and triggers in real time
Process old wounds and release tension together
Deepen intimacy, attunement, and authentic connection
By the end of the retreat, couples often report feeling lighter, more present, and deeply connected, with practical tools and awareness to carry forward into everyday life.
Your Retreat Space
We meet in my cozy, private office in Downtown Wake Forest, designed to help you feel safe, comfortable, and fully present with each other. During the retreat, we take lunch and as many stretch breaks as needed to keep energy and focus high.
I provide thick, comfortable mats, and many couples choose to lie down during the Brainspotting portion of the experience, allowing the body and nervous system to relax fully and engage in the process more deeply. The environment is intentionally warm and grounding, so you can leave the outside world behind and focus on your connection.
Irina’s Approach to Brainspotting in North Carolina
Who I Am
I'm a relationship expert with over 15 years of experience helping couples move from painful, stuck places into relationships that feel alive again.
I work with partners quietly (and sometimes not so quitely) struggling: roommate marriages, mismatched libidos, infidelity, neurodivergent partnerships, childhood trauma, and disconnection despite still loving each other.
My understanding comes from both clinical expertise and lived experience—navigating three countries, heartbreak, infidelity, chronic illness, divorce, ADHD, raising neurospicy kids, and building a business. I know how messy and fucking hard relationships are, and how transformative they become with the right support.
What Makes Me Different
I don't pretend to have a perfect life or relationship. I'm human, imperfect, and honest.
My work combines:
Deep clinical expertise in attachment and nervous-system regulation
Real relational experience, not just theory
Directness with warmth—I'll tell you what I see without shame
Relentless growth—constant training that directly benefits your work
I won't collude with stuck patterns or pathologize healthy responses. I believe: "The greatest gift you can give your children is your own transformation."
What It’s Like to Work With Me
Our work is real, relational, and deeply engaged.
I will tell you what I see, hold you accountable with care, help you understand what's happening underneath the chaos, and be fully present—tears and laughter included.
We'll address:
Painful emotional loops and repeating fights
Boundary issues and resentment
The exhaustion of losing yourself while holding everything together
We'll work on breaking conflict cycles, setting guilt-free boundaries, protecting your peace, and seeing your partner with clarity and yourself with compassion. This isn't about fixing you or choosing sides. It's about stepping out of survival mode into a relationship that feels safer, more honest, and more alive.
I'm Not Your Person If:
You want surface-level advice
You're only here because of the kids
You don't believe in therapy and were dragged here
You're keeping secrets, secretly checked out, or treating this as a last-ditch effort before leaving
But if you still love your partner deeply and you're ready for depth, accountability, and real change with someone who meets you as a whole human, I'd be honored to work with you. You don't have to keep doing this alone.
How Does Brainspotting Work Exactly?
Experts say where you look affects how you feel. Brainspotting is a bottom up approach and goes beyond talking. It works directly with your nervous system, helping you process emotions and patterns that words alone often can’t reach. Here’s how it unfolds in a couples session.
Finding Your Brainspot
During the session, I guide you to notice subtle bodily sensations and emotions that feel “stuck” or intense. Together, we identify an eye position—a specific place your eyes naturally rest that correlates with where this emotional experience is held in your nervous system. This eye position acts like a door, opening access to feelings that have been difficult to express or integrate.
Deep Processing Together
Once we locate the brainspot, your body and mind begin to process the underlying emotion at its own pace. As this happens, I support both partners in staying present, safe, and attuned. You may notice shifts in tension, new insights, or feelings surfacing that you’ve been holding back—sometimes for years. Clients are free to talk as little or as much as they need to. I help you process your experience in the subcortical 'feeling brain' in your body, your nervous system, and your emotions. This is very different from just the neocortical 'thinking brain' that tries to rationalize everything away.
Integration into Your Relationship
This isn’t just about individual healing. The work happens in the presence of your partner, which allows patterns of disconnection to be released and replaced with emotional safety, attunement, and authentic responsiveness. You leave the session not only feeling lighter and more connected internally, but also able to interact with your partner in a more open, compassionate, and intimate way.
When appropriate, we can also integrate EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) or Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) to deepen processing, release long-held patterns, and strengthen your emotional bond even further.
Do you offer any other types of Marriage Retreats or Intensives in North Carolina?
Yes! In addition to Brainspotting, I offer customized retreat experiences using KAP, EFT, or solo healing approaches—each designed to meet you and your partner where you are and create lasting transformation.
EFT Intensive — Rebuild Emotional Safety and Deep Connection
This retreat is based on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the most research-backed approach for healing emotional distance and restoring trust.
We’ll slow down the reactive moments, uncover your negative cycles, and help you both see the fears and longings beneath your conflicts. As you learn to turn toward each other again, you’ll create new experiences of emotional safety, laying the foundation for deeper intimacy and renewed passion.
You’ll leave with:
A clear emotional map of your relationship
Practical tools to stay connected during challenging moments
A renewed sense that your partnership can feel alive, safe, and vibrant
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) Intensive — Quiet the Mind, Open the Heart
When words aren’t enough, KAP provides a gentle, guided way to access what’s been out of reach. Low-dose ketamine, combined with eye shades and headphones, temporarily quiets the brain’s default mode network. This reduces anxiety, eases mental loops, and opens space for insight and emotional breakthroughs.
During this softened state, I weave in EFT integration and sometimes brainspotting, helping you put words and meaning to what arises. The result is:
Greater clarity and self-compassion
Deepened connection with yourself and your partner
Emotional and nervous system healing beyond talk therapy
KAP speaks the language of the body, heart, and nervous system, allowing profound shifts that are felt as much as understood.
Solo Healing Intensive — Deep Work for One, Transform Change for Two
Sometimes the most powerful change begins when one partner chooses to do the inner work first. This retreat is designed for individuals who want to heal personal wounds, regulate their nervous system, and bring new clarity and emotional depth into the relationship, even if their partner isn’t ready to join yet.
Your solo retreat is custom-blended from the most effective modalities, including Brainspotting, EFT, and KAP. You’ll:
Release old stories and patterns
Reconnect with your authentic self
Strengthen emotional resilience and inner calm
Begin shifting the relationship indirectly through your own transformation
When one partner heals, the relationship naturally begins to change, creating a ripple effect that fosters connection, safety, and intimacy for both.
What other couples say on Google about marriage retreat in North Carolina:
“We've just completed a full day EFT intensive with Irina, and are shocked how much we didn't know about how each of us was really feeling on the inside (we have been together for a very long time). This technique is simply amazing and I am actually excited to continue working on my relationship for the very first time ever. Just do it.”
— Married 23 years
“If you find yourself in need of a marriage therapist who leads with compassion, authenticity, and true dedication to her craft, we wholeheartedly recommend Irina. She has the power to transform relationships and bring joy and fulfillment back into your life. Trust in her expertise, and you will find yourself on a path towards a brighter, happier future.
— Married 7 years
“Irina pretty much saved my marriage and made our emotional connection even stronger than before we had children, so I highly recommend her to all my family and friends struggling with communication and “roommate” marriage type problems. She is not only extremely knowledgeable, but also direct, caring, and very compassionate person. It might take you awhile to get there, but you won’t regret your investment, I promise you that”.
— Married 10 years
“I cannot recommend Irina enough! Her virtual therapy option during the pandemic has saved my marriage.
Irina is passionate about her work and deeply cares for her clients. My only regret is that we should have reached out to her years ago”.
-Married 4 years
“Irina has been an absolute blessing in our lives. With her compassionate approach, she has not only helped to save our marriage but also guided us towards a future filled with love, understanding, and anticipation. We are now proud parents-to-be, expecting twins, and we owe a great portion of our unity to Irina's expertise. From our very first session, Irina made it a priority to ensure that both my husband and I felt heard and understood. Her genuine nature and empathetic demeanor created a safe space for us to express our deepest fears, frustrations, and desires. Irina's ability to connect with us on an emotional level fostered a sense of trust that was vital for the healing process.
One of the most remarkable aspects of Irina's approach is her authenticity. She never hesitated to challenge us when necessary, encouraging us to confront uncomfortable truths and address unresolved issues. Her guidance extended beyond mere words, as she provided practical recommendations for activities and work that would help us rebuild our connection. We followed her suggestions, and even months later, we continue to reap the benefits.
What truly sets Irina apart is her genuine passion for counseling. It is evident that she isn't driven by financial gain but rather by a sincere desire to help couples find happiness and harmony. Irina consistently demonstrated that she had our best interests at heart, and she never hesitated to let us know when she believed we were ready to graduate from therapy or when she felt we needed more work. This level of transparency and honesty allowed us to trust her deeply.
If you find yourself in need of a marriage therapist who leads with compassion, authenticity, and true dedication to her craft, we wholeheartedly recommend Irina. She has the power to transform relationships and bring joy and fulfillment back into your life. Trust in her expertise, and you will find yourself on a path towards a brighter, happier future.”
— Married 4 years
“Irina is an empathic and caring therapist. She works incredibly hard to come alongside her clients to understand their experiences. With couples, she brings understanding to their negative patterns of interactions that create disconnection and helps them to create new options amidst these patterns. She is direct and transparent about her clinical work and creates a safe space to go into difficult and painful spots with the purpose of repairing hurts and building reconnection in couples. Irina is warm, interactive and direct in her style and overall is a wonderful clinician.”
— EFT Therapist and Partner
Investment:
Total Investment for 1 full day: $3000
Total Investment for 2 full days: $6000
Marriage intensives offer several cost-effective advantages compared to traditional weekly counseling sessions:
Efficient Use of Time: Marriage intensives typically skip the initial "catching up" phase that can consume valuable time in weekly counseling sessions. This means that from the very beginning of the intensive, you can dive right into addressing the core issues in your relationship. This efficient use of time can lead to quicker progress in therapy.
Accelerated Progress: Marriage intensives provide an opportunity to go deeper into the issues and challenges within the relationship in a concentrated timeframe. The extended duration of intensive sessions allows for a more thorough exploration of issues and faster progress in therapy. Couples can work through multiple topics and exercises in a shorter period, potentially reducing the overall number of sessions required.
Reduced Overall Costs: Because of the efficiency and accelerated progress, couples often find that they require fewer total hours of therapy when opting for a marriage intensive compared to weekly counseling. This can translate to cost savings, as you may need fewer sessions overall.
Minimized Travel and Scheduling Costs: For couples with busy schedules or those who live at a distance from their therapist, the condensed nature of marriage intensives can reduce travel and scheduling costs. Instead of committing to weekly or bi-weekly appointments, you can plan for a shorter, concentrated period of therapy.
Who is a Good Fit for Brainspotting Marriage Retreat in North Carolina?
Couples who love each other and are committed to work even though things are tough at the moment
Couples who need a relief from their pain right now
Couples who are tired of talking about the same shit over and over again or may have done years of traditional talk therapy without much improvement
Couples who live far away from a highly skilled therapist
Couples where one partner is often traveling
Couples in transition (new marriage, new job, new baby, etc)
Make a Decision and Trust The Process.
“Nature loves courage.
You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles.
Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up.
This is the trick.
This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood.
This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall.
This is how magic is done.
By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed.”
Terence McKenna
